Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

11

Jul

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: TESTIMONIAL CONCLUDE TO A FIRST LOVE[excerpt]

“You were Home. Home was Brooklyn. Your home was Brooklyn, too. At first I really couldn’t realized it. If your home had been Queens or Harlem, I would have given you another chance. But Brooklyn I know too well. I know those laid back Brooklyn boys, the one’s who sit back and impose their likings on you. The ones whom shut down, emotionally, but expect the attention and love to come from everyone, and shoot only in their direction. What a distraction. Your ego of Brooklyn was the distraction. The fact that you loved yourself more than the consideration of loving me was so ghetto Brooklyn of you. And if you thought hurting me and reopening the same wound over and over was teaching me a lesson, then you were more wrong than the actions of your insecurities. My Love was warm and considerate. It was open and heartfelt. But yours was selfish, bitter, ungrateful, and ultimately, your Love was damaging. I already know that side of you. The side you tried to hide-I already knew him. I already knew him because I know the Brooklyn that’ll lead you down the path of drinks, weed, fighting, selfishness, self-pity and distraction. I know the Brooklyn you tried to show me. So the lesson’s you attempted to teach were nothing new… Nothing new at all!”

-Domingo Beltran

05

Jul

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR:
“We at Conversations With Sissies(CWS) want to show our support and admiration to Hip Hop and R&B heavyweight, Mister Frank Ocean. We are happy that he has found his peace and is as proud and admirable of himself as we are of ourselves and our sexuality. This is one small step for man, but one giant step for the perception of our people as we know it. We look forward to the domino effect he may cause. 
With all walls broken, Ocean used his honesty and vulnerability to express genuine love and in very few words he changed the lives of many. By coming out, Frank has supported our cause. He let us into the real him and, although the ignorance and homophobia still exists, we know he has just saved the lives of many others.
Just two years ago I myself was in desperate need of help. I suffered severly from Depression and Anxiety until, sadly, I became suicidal. If it wasn’t for my own strength and perseverance, I, possibly would not have been here today. 
Months after my ten day stay at Woodhull Hosptal’s Psychiatric Ward in Brooklyn, a dear friend of mine committed suicide because of the burden placed on young gay black males by mainstream society. 
So today, I cry tears of joy and pain because Frank Ocean’s courage is a step in the right direction, not just for him, but for my late friend Joseph Jefferson and every other black/minority male who is affected by the hate we face on a daily basis. Thank you, Frank, for becoming the topic of CONVERSATION… Because of people like us and Joseph, we will continue to fight for SISSIES everywhere!”
Peace & Love,
Domingo Beltran

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR:

We at Conversations With Sissies(CWS) want to show our support and admiration to Hip Hop and R&B heavyweight, Mister Frank Ocean. We are happy that he has found his peace and is as proud and admirable of himself as we are of ourselves and our sexuality. This is one small step for man, but one giant step for the perception of our people as we know it. We look forward to the domino effect he may cause. 

With all walls broken, Ocean used his honesty and vulnerability to express genuine love and in very few words he changed the lives of many. By coming out, Frank has supported our cause. He let us into the real him and, although the ignorance and homophobia still exists, we know he has just saved the lives of many others.

Just two years ago I myself was in desperate need of help. I suffered severly from Depression and Anxiety until, sadly, I became suicidal. If it wasn’t for my own strength and perseverance, I, possibly would not have been here today.

Months after my ten day stay at Woodhull Hosptal’s Psychiatric Ward in Brooklyn, a dear friend of mine committed suicide because of the burden placed on young gay black males by mainstream society.

So today, I cry tears of joy and pain because Frank Ocean’s courage is a step in the right direction, not just for him, but for my late friend Joseph Jefferson and every other black/minority male who is affected by the hate we face on a daily basis. Thank you, Frank, for becoming the topic of CONVERSATION… Because of people like us and Joseph, we will continue to fight for SISSIES everywhere!”

Peace & Love,

Domingo Beltran

03

Jul

SMILE MYSELF TO SLEEP [excerpt]

 

“…I pull back slightly and look up to see the sun beginning to light up the sky, realizing that that one kiss forced time to freeze but still fast forward. What a beautiful sunrise. I don’t know where my friends are, neither does he. The club is closed, the gate is down and the block is sound asleep. No cars, no people, just us, the pavement and the sun rise. We exchanged numbers and finally decide to part ways, walking in two completely different directions, but looking back at each other the entire time. Once he is out of sight, the sun is fully out. After smiling the entire train ride home; I laid down that morning and smiled myself to sleep.”

-Domingo Beltran

02

Jul

We love you, Anderson! Thanks for standing up as a proud, out gay man!

We love you, Anderson! Thanks for standing up as a proud, out gay man!

(Source: thetrevorproject)

I BECAME SELFISH [excerpt]

I’ve become selfish.

The process began when I started to notice that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t love me the way your words did. Youre affection, the way you looked at me, your smiles around me, none of them added up to the words you express. You were never proud of loving me, you hid it. And after too long of hiding the love you only vocally maximized, you began to not care. One thing I know about you is that I can never take your word for anything. You said youd be there at 6, and i didnt hear from you or see you until midnight, you said you wanted me forever and ever but then you gave up. You convinced me that you were ready to settle down and make your love your bestfriend, but you didn’t do any of that. The support you gave was what you “thought” a bf should do. Thats how you tolerated this relationship. You were emotionally unavailable, it was like a job to you. You did what you thought you had to do because feeling anything isn’t in your experience. Maybe you don’t know how, or maybe you chose not to. But the fact that you felt like you didnt have to is what made me search for that affection in other places.

Domingo Beltran

“Conversations with Sissies" details the experiences of hope, struggle, inspiration and livelihood through the eyes of homosexuals living in a world of ignorance, homophobia and misunderstandings. Told through monologues, short stories and poems, these experiences unveil the truths about life, from the inside - out. Exposing to the real world that we, the sissies, are people too. 

Conversations with Sissies" details the experiences of hope, struggle, inspiration and livelihood through the eyes of homosexuals living in a world of ignorance, homophobia and misunderstandings. Told through monologues, short stories and poems, these experiences unveil the truths about life, from the inside - out. Exposing to the real world that we, the sissies, are people too. 

29

Jun

Forty-Nine Days [excerpt]

Today makes seven weeks since the day we decided to mutually take a break from the love we once shared. The sad part, is that Ive loved you unconditionally for the past forty nine days, not knowing where you are or what exactly you are doing. Nothing takes you off my mind. Nothing distracts me from thinking about you because I miss you so much. I understand that time is needed for you to come to terms with what exactly you are going through in your own life but the selfish part of me just wants you here. I’ve held back so much just so you can have your space and not feel smothered but every day that passes is another day added on to the list of my VOID. I’m trying to fill this void but the only thing that can do that-is you. I need you here because I’m beginning to run low, my soul and my mind are on E and I dont know how much longer its going to continue running without you. It might be sad to hear, but its even worse to say aloud. My plan wasn’t dependency, it was Love. And now, I can admit that you and I were a bit codependent on a relationship we’ve drained from the beginning. We never took it slow, we jumped in and made it our lives from day one, maybe even before then. But aside from the circumstantial evidence, there’s one piece of hardcore evidence that lies solely in my chest, surrounded by the protection of ribs, other organs and one major thought: knowing that wherever you are, you are loving me unconditionally, as I am with you.

Because:

I love you. 

For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough: Coming of Age, Coming Out, and Coming Home
“The new book, For Colored Boys, addresses longstanding issues of sexual abuse, suicide, HIV/AIDS, racism, and homophobia in the African American and Latino communities, and more specifically among young gay men of color. The book tells stories of real people coming of age, coming out, dealing with religion and spirituality, seeking love and relationships, finding their own identity in or out of the LGBT community, and creating their own sense of political empowerment.
This collection includes writers who are African American, Latino, Asian American, British, and Jamaican. Their ages span over five decades from young to old, and they represent all parts of the country and a wide cross-section of occupations, including students, published authors, recording artists, reality TV stars, military veterans, doctors, and lawyers.
We hope their stories will educate, empower, and inspire you.”
Release Date: Monday, July 16th, 2012
From Bestselling Author & Inspiration - Keith Boykin
(Dedicated to my late friend Mr. Joseph Jefferson. May you Rest In Peace. We will continue going forward in your honor)

For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough: Coming of Age, Coming Out, and Coming Home

The new book, For Colored Boys, addresses longstanding issues of sexual abuse, suicide, HIV/AIDS, racism, and homophobia in the African American and Latino communities, and more specifically among young gay men of color. The book tells stories of real people coming of age, coming out, dealing with religion and spirituality, seeking love and relationships, finding their own identity in or out of the LGBT community, and creating their own sense of political empowerment.

This collection includes writers who are African American, Latino, Asian American, British, and Jamaican. Their ages span over five decades from young to old, and they represent all parts of the country and a wide cross-section of occupations, including students, published authors, recording artists, reality TV stars, military veterans, doctors, and lawyers.

We hope their stories will educate, empower, and inspire you.”

Release Date: Monday, July 16th, 2012

From Bestselling Author & Inspiration - Keith Boykin

(Dedicated to my late friend Mr. Joseph Jefferson. May you Rest In Peace. We will continue going forward in your honor)

27

Jun

RAINBOW OREO’s!

Thanks to KRAFT for supporting our Prideful community!!!

RAINBOW OREO’s!

Thanks to KRAFT for supporting our Prideful community!!!

21

Jun

A Cook County judge agreed today to combine two lawsuits claiming the state’s ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional. The lawsuits against Cook County Clerk David Orr were filed by the the American Civil Liberties Union of Illinois and the gay rights group Lambda Legal. Judge Moshe Jacobius, presiding judge of the Chancery Division, agreed to combine the cases during a brief hearing today in the Daley Center. The next hearing has not yet been scheduled. What remains to be seen is who will defend against the lawsuits.The Cook County state’s attorney and the Illinois attorney general — the two offices that would normally defend the county clerk against such a lawsuit — have said they agree the ban is unconstitutional. Orr applauded the lawsuits after they were filed. The lawsuits claim that by not issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, the county clerk has violated the couples’ rights to due process and equal protection under the Illinois Constitution. The Thomas More Society, a public interest law group that opposes same-sex marriage, has said it will petition the court to allow Thomas More attorneys to defend the state’s marriage laws. That petition has not yet been filed. 

COPYRIGHT! CHICAGO TRIBUNE

A Cook County judge agreed today to combine two lawsuits claiming the state’s ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional.

The lawsuits against Cook County Clerk David Orr were filed by the the American Civil Liberties Union of Illinois and the gay rights group Lambda Legal.

Judge Moshe Jacobius, presiding judge of the Chancery Division, agreed to combine the cases during a brief hearing today in the Daley Center. The next hearing has not yet been scheduled.

What remains to be seen is who will defend against the lawsuits.

The Cook County state’s attorney and the Illinois attorney general — the two offices that would normally defend the county clerk against such a lawsuit — have said they agree the ban is unconstitutional. Orr applauded the lawsuits after they were filed.

The lawsuits claim that by not issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, the county clerk has violated the couples’ rights to due process and equal protection under the Illinois Constitution.

The Thomas More Society, a public interest law group that opposes same-sex marriage, has said it will petition the court to allow Thomas More attorneys to defend the state’s marriage laws. That petition has not yet been filed.

COPYRIGHT! CHICAGO TRIBUNE